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Gratitude (feat. Mediocre Cafe)

from Calendar by Baseball Gregg

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    Every month of 2019 we released a song. Some of the songs were written the month before they were released, while some songs were written as early as 2009. Each month, Eli Wengrin made a cover for the single, and I wrote a little essay to go along with the song. In early 2020, we asked our friends if they had any art or words they would like to share that was, in some way, related to Calendar. All of the contributions have been compiled into this book.

    Looking back at the beginning of the year, it’s hard for me to remember exactly who I was when writing the first entry for Toursong. Whatever sense of identity that I feel today isn’t the same as what I felt a year ago; In a sense, I am a “new person.”

    If Sam from a year ago is a different person from Sam as I am today, there is no reason that I (today) should attribute any more weight to their (me a year ago) wants and desires than I would to any other person who I know. Right now, I relate to a lot of friends more than I do to my past self. I am equal to my peers.

    While making the XTC album “Skylarking”, Virgin Records told Andy Partridge, the band leader, that he had to make the record with an American producer in an attempt to tap into the American market, and eventually Todd Rundgren was hired for the job. The record is amazing, one of my top 5 favorite albums of all time, but the story goes that Andy and Todd butted heads throughout the entire recording process. Their egos were both too big. Now, Andy hates the album. He claims that Todd completely fucked it up at the last second by “reversing the polarity” of the tape, something that would in practice have an undetectable effect on sonic quality.

    There is a song on Skylarking, “A Man Who Sailed Around His Soul.” The song is about a man who tried to “find himself,” but he actually found nothing.

    "Now he sits all alone
    And it's no place like home
    It's empty skin
    A bag to keep life's souvenirs in"

    Ego is a sham. Identity is a sham. Don’t try to find yourself, find others.

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about

Ninth song off "Calendar", out on September 30th!
Artwork by Eli Wengrin
--
After being diagnosed with terminal cancer at age 80, neurologist and author Oliver Sacks wrote a series of essays reflecting on his approaching death. These essays, compiled in a single volume with the title Gratitude, exude total calmness in the face of death. Sacks writes, “…my predominant feeling is one of Gratitude. I have loved and been loved… I have had an intercourse with the world, the special intercourse of writers and readers. Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.”

None of us have ever experienced death first hand. I’ve had a few extended family members die, but fortunately I have never had to say goodbye to anyone close to me. However, I’ve experienced the ending of beautiful moments, and death could be seen as the final accumulation of all of these endings.

Just yesterday I came back to California after a few months of living with Luca and his partner Stefi. It’s the longest I’ve ever stayed with them, and for the last few weeks I felt less like I was passing through on vacation and more like I was with them permanently. In the past it has been very difficult for me to say goodbye to Luca, and I was worried that this year would be especially difficult, but I feel more gratitude than anything else. I am very thankful that have such wonderful and caring friends.

I don’t want to say that temporarily saying goodbye to a close friend is even remotely as difficult as dying, but the two emotions are undoubtedly related. Like everything in life, accepting the ending of a beautiful period gets easier with practice. Through a full and intense “intercourse with the world,” we are able to accumulate many experiences and see the death of many beautiful moments; Practice for the end of our lives. I am now back in California, and just today I saw Cooper from Mediocre Cafe, who wrote a beautiful guest verse for this song. I am excited to live this new period of my life, and feel immense gratitude at having had the opportunity to spend a few months with my best friend. Luca & Stefi, I love you and will see you soon!

lyrics

Gratitude
Is the feeling that I felt most
When you told me that I was about to die
Ending this joyful life

All those years I spent
thinking of this moment
Now it seems so normal
Just the way it’s supposed to go

Of course I can’t pretend
That I am not afraid
But as I said before
Gratitude is the feeling

It’s time to rest
Forget the past
And have the best dream
You have ever had

I know, you’ve been someone
But all this time has come and gone
And some pain is leaving now

It’s just, picking up your frown
I’m not too sure, we’re leaving it
It’s hard to sit feeling shit

It seems the days are gone
I miss them now
Trestles in your beard
Have grown a mile

It’s time to rest
Forget the past
And have the best dream
You have ever had

As I was always doing something else
I spent my whole life waiting for Godot
As I was always doing something else

It’s time to rest
Forget the past
And have the best dream
You have ever had

credits

from Calendar, track released September 30, 2019
Written and produced by Luca Lovisetto
Second verse written and performed by Cooper Coffroth
Mastered by Dylan Wall
Artwork by Eli Wengrin

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Baseball Gregg Stockton, California

Baseball Gregg is a pop duo from Stockton by way of Italy.

"Selected Covers (2016​-​2022)" out now!

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